How an Infant Saves my Life


Everyday I wake up at six o’clock in the morning with a big smile on my face (though if you ask my husband he may let you know its a figurative smile because I hate mornings) because I get paid every day to do my favorite thing in the world. I get to spend time with a little 4 month old baby.


My daily routine everyday is driving to work singing along to my favorite oldies, being greeted as I walk in the door to a big gummy smile, feeding a very excited baby, followed by a two hour snuggly nap. I spend most of my week days soaking in perfect little giggles, smiles, and his newest trick – spit bubbles. It’s not all perfect of course, about thirty minutes every day total I spend with him crying, pooping, or spitting up me. But I love it all. He’s so perfect to me..


This perfect little boy will never know this one thing though: every day when he smiles at me, giggles at my faces, or chews on his own little foot he saves me. He is the reason I never fall too deep into thoughts of giving up hope. Every time he reaches out to me (something he did for the very first time today) a little piece of my heart feeling a little less broken. The best look in the entire world, the look that keeps me going isn’t a look he gives me though, or a look he gives any one else. The look that keeps me going is the look he gives his mom every time she walks into the room..


We laugh with each other, his mom and I, and say that he just smiles that way because he sees his “food source,” but that one look reminds me why I’m going through this pain, and why I’ll risk that pain again eventually. It reminds me why being a parent is written so deeply on my heart and gives me a reason to keep fighting. My little “Q” will never have any idea what he does for me, but every single day he keeps me going. And well, if you get nothing else from this post at least you got to see the cutest baby in the entire world.. (yet..) 😉


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